The courtyard is alive with the spit of angry bullets,
And baked hard by the scorching sun.
Clouds of smoke drift in,
In patches,
And are,
Collected by moans,
That become tiny whirlwinds,
That suck on the dog tags on dead men’s chests.
See - Why we fight, Soldier
♦photo – 67pics.com♦
evocative short poetry – words move
Stark reality described in brief lines of verse; terrific work, Kolembo…
Violence comes in hot and fast. The ending is haunting. Very effectively portrays a scene from battle.
you take us to a place no one really wants to be, but all need to understand!
You convey the horror of death and war very effectively.
Ouch/Pow Your poem works even without the visual: it’s “alive” “baked hard” “drift” “collected by moans” “whirlwinds that suck on” It pierces my heart.
Adjectives are difficult for a piece like this. It is powerful.
damn bro…this is a hard write…and one you cant look away from…its got grit that hits…and paint a grisly image in vivid colors….the whilrwind is a great closing touch…
Haha, thanks for the link!
I’ll read it now.
keep writing, hey? Happy Potluck!
Well the new URL is muchthoughtandgraphite.wordpress.com so if you’re subscribing to my blog, THAT’S the correct URL
this is scary my friend. i hope i never have a courtyard like that. never- not even in my nightmares.
you want to join me here?
http://earthinbw.wordpress.com
This is has such powerful impact… I enjoyed reading this.
Oh and btw, I’ve changed the URL of my personal blog! (Not my poetry one.) Don’t know if you’re still subscribed to the right one. It used to be huilinn.wordpress.com, but now it’s muchthoughtandgraphite.wordpress.com. Had a bit of problem with the whole blog changing thing but just letting you know
Have a greaaat week!
A very powerful poem…delivered spot on.
my heart seems to shrink when faced with war, very evocative poem this one
as for the weekend theme, there is pressure to get it posted by sunday for inclusion when io do a roundup post, but really one weekend enfd when the next starts
The title offsets this poem perfectly… reading courtyard, I expected a somehting much lighter, so when the last line hit, it sent me straight back to the title to do it all again…
There is so much pain in this, Kenny. I listened to the news while I had lunch and sometimes feel overwhelmed by the suffering I see in so many parts of the world. In this case, your sensitivity produced a striking poem.
Another small slice of perfection.
Death, shown and described in your poetic words … Life gone in an instant of the bullets whine. A terrible thing, violence and war but it seems nothing will stop it. There’s always a cause, which needs fighting, freedom which needs fighting for, and Dictators which need fighting against… How can peace be found? When the last one is standing? xPenx
Lets me imagine being there in the thick,
Can’t wash the blood away, it sticks,
The smell of smoke somewhere closeby,
I can’t raise my head or I might die,
A moan beside me of a dying friend,
I wish I could leave with the prevailing wind,
Baked in the sun, oh, how time drags,
Now it’s just me and my dog tags.
Powerful. Full emotion and the flow seems perfect. Good write.