Whoosh!

short poetry, new, fresh, cityscape, mood, lighting, Hopper, painting,

 

Catch the fragrance on the suit,
Of the man in the queue in front of you,

Follow the creases as he sits,
Right up to his face,
This time, and notice,

Blue eyes, moustache,
Hair peeking out from under stiff collar,
The man is immediately the foreigner,

Hurling as he is,
The prospect that,
He may ask you to track his trajectory,

Through town, this
City of the big shoulders and,
Lost in the words of the author you are reading,

Compel you to divert your own,
Down the street,

So that you meet,
At the bar,

Where he electrifies his,
Breath with tobacco,

And you accelerate your own,
To find,

That this all happened yesterday, whoosh

Just yesterday you fell in love.

 

photo – Nighthawks by Edward Hopper on Wikipedialinux hosting

evocative short poetry – words move

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20 thoughts on “Whoosh!

  1. The city of the big shoulders ,fat guts and bling!

  2. brian miller says:

    nice….and when you fall in love everything changes….love all the detail you put in this bringing the scene alive…

  3. I haven’t seen you in such a long time! Hopper is one of my favorite artists and I really enjoyed where you took this ekphrasis.

  4. Marian says:

    diverting your own trajectory so that you meet, so vivid.
    city of big shoulders! my kinda city 🙂
    love your words.

  5. “Where he electrifies his
    Breath with tobacco”

    love that line.

  6. Such a great take on one of my favorite paintings. Like Hopper, you capture the personality of the 1930’s in Chicago. Perfect.

  7. kshawnedgar says:

    As I read your words, beams of muted sunlight, dissected by vertical blinds, stuck in long rectangles to the linoleum of my kitchen floor. Stuck, like these words, in my head.

  8. Dunstan says:

    This is great. It has an air of eloquent beat about it. It’s playful. One of my favourite Hopper paintings at the end there too. A big inspiration I presume.

  9. I read about 5 pieces on here and I was hooked once more…BEAUTIFUL, when is the book coming out? You are awesome! 🙂

  10. Chris G. says:

    Whoosh sums it…the piece accelerates in itself, building to the sweet conclusion on the back of enjoyable imagery like “City of the big shoulders” – there’s some potent descriptive quality in that.

    Only one thing I’d address: “Compel you to divert your own,So that,You meet,”…that stanza came out awkward to me. Perhaps merely the presence of the commas…which seem unnecessary, the break in line alone exalts the pause for breath meant to be there…but yes. The flow isn’t quite right there in my mind. Just a thought.

  11. Super Cute.
    Good photograph too.

  12. penpusherpen says:

    Fragrances, so many fragrances to savour.
    Great descriptive words and photo combined to play with the mind. xPenx

  13. Great poem and photo. Nicely done.

  14. Excellent poem and photo…well done.

  15. dhaami says:

    I love this one!

  16. brian says:

    nice…i sure sweeps you off your feet doesnt it…you captured that well in verse…nice one shot

  17. Intelligent fool says:

    Excellent poem (as usual) also I have to say the image is so fitting

  18. lesleehare says:

    these just keep getting better and better… I am truly going to run out of words of praise, having all been used up…

  19. Graham Nunn says:

    this city of the big shoulders… killer line!

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